Another Quote from Palmer

Just four pages after reading the previous quote in Parker Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak, I found another quote that I thought really relates well to student ministry.

“My gift as a teacher is the ability to ‘dance’ with my students, to teach them and learn with them through dialogue and interaction.  When my students are willing to dance with me, the result can be a thing of beauty.  When they refuse to dance, when my gift is denied, things start to become messy: I get hurt and angry, I resent the students–whom I blame for my plight–and I start treating them defensively, in ways that make the dance even less likely to happen.

“But when I understand this liability as a trade-off for my strengths, something new and liberating arises within me.  I no longer want to have my liability ‘fixed’–by learning how to dance solo, for example, when no one wants to dance with me–for to do that would be to compromise or even destroy my gift.  Instead I want to learn how to respond more gracefully to students who refuse to dance, not projecting my limitation on them but embracing it as a part of myself.”

A Dilemma

A quote from Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer:

“Here is another example of violating one’s nature in the name of nobility, an example that shows the larger dangers of false love.  Years ago, I heard Dorothy Day speak.  Founder of the Catholic Worker movement, her long-term commitment to living among the poor on New York’s Lower East Side–not just serving them but sharing their condition–had made her one of my heroes.  So it came as a great shock when in the middle of her talk, I heard her start to ruminate about the ‘ungragteful poor.’

“I did not understand how such a dismissive phrase could come from the lips of a saint–until it hit me with the force of a Zen koan.  Dorothy Day was saying, ‘Do not give to the poor expecting to get their gratitude so that you can feel good about yourself.  If you do, your giving will be thin and short-lived, and that is not what the poor need; it will only impoverish them further.  Give only if you have something you must give; give only if you are someone for whom giving is a reward.’”

I read this passage and the face of a student I work with immediately popped into my head.  I had tried for weeks to interest this particular student in our summer mission trip, and one night he finally made a comment that made it clear to me that he had no interest in doing the type of work that would be required on our trip.  While his attitude immediately rubbed me the wrong way, I wonder now which would be the more beneficial outcome: coercing him to serve in spite of his lack of compulsion to do so or backing off and trusting that it is better not to force him into an act of false love.

Your thoughts?

Bringing You Up to Speed

I realize the key to successful blogging is actually engaging in the act of blogging, something I have neglected for the past few weeks.  My apologies to all of you waiting with baited breath for my next post. 

*Cough, cough*

*Crickets*

*Silence*

Our college group had a wonderful experience in Pearlington, Mississippi, in late March.  We worked in cooperation with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of Louisiana the Pearlington Recovery Center.  Pearlington is one of the many communities on the Gulf Coast that was tragically affected by Hurricane Katrina in August 2005.  The most startling realization for me was to find that there are still people in this region that wake up every day thinking about how to recover from a storm that hit almost three years ago.  I suppose that there is a parallel to be drawn about how we recover from other storms in our lives, but this was a very tangible reminder of our need for God’s gifts of faith, hope, and love.

There remains a great deal of work to be done in this region, but improvements are being made in large part due to the efforts of innumerable volunteers.  I would encourage you to consider taking a group of students or adults from your church to the Gulf Coast to be the presence of Christ to those in need.

I’m not big on mass emails, so…

Hi,

The world hunger crisis is all over the news this week. In just three years, the price of staple foods like wheat, corn and rice has almost doubled. If we don’t do something soon, hundreds of thousands of people face starvation and a hundred million more could fall into extreme poverty.

I just took action with the ONE Campaign and you can too, here:

http://www.one.org/hungercrisis?rc=hctaf

Pearlington or Bust

I’m taking a group of college students to Pearlington, MS, this week.  We’ll be partnering with the Pearlington Recovery Center and the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of Louisiana to do some rebuilding work in one of the many communities devastated by Hurricane Katrina in August 2005.  To see all that remains undone in those areas is unnerving to say the least, but I’m hopeful that we can contribute to the rebuilding process in small ways.  More than anything, I’m hopeful that our group can be the presence of Christ to those in need of a good dose of hope.  Your prayers are appreciated.  I’ll try to journal our experience along the way if time and internet access allow.  If not, I’ll be back in a week.  Blessings.

Teen Girls and STDs

Almost every student ministry blog I read has made reference to the Associated Press article that appeared last week claiming that one out of every four teenage girls (over 3 million girls) has a sexually transmitted disease.  I think more than anything, we’re in a collective state of disbelief wondering where our sex ed programs and more importantly our youth ministries have failed to educate teens about the risks related to sexual activity.  I’ll admit I’ve never led any of the student groups I’ve worked with through an effective study on human sexuality.  It’s always something I tiptoe around hoping “my kids” aren’t the ones that need to hear these things because they know better, but that’s naive optimism.  The truth is there should be no safer place to talk about a wholisitic understanding of human sexuality than in a church setting.  It’s the elephant in the youth room that no one wants to talk about.  Maybe it’s time we ask the elephant to leave.

UPDATE: Scratch what I said about there being no safer place to talk about sex than in church.  Shelby Knox got it right by suggesting that sex education must begin at home.  While I think schools must also teach a responsible understanding of sexuality, I believe that it should be the the church that supliments and streamlines those lessons learned at home by helping teens develop their theological understanding of human sexuality.

Youth Sunday Goeth

Youth Sunday 2008 is in the books.  I was extremely proud of our student participants.  We also had two adults give testimonies about their experiences as youth growing up in our church.  My first “sermon” was brief and ended up going a different direction that I had originally planned, but I guess that’s part of the process.  It leaves me with some things to talk about next year.   Overall, I was very pleased with what took place this morning.  It was a good, good thing.

Youth Sunday Cometh

This Sunday our church will be observing Youth Sunday for the first time in several years.  The church’s youth leadership has been in a period of transition for a couple of years, so most of our students haven’t participated in this type of service before.  They’re a little anxious about what to expect, but I think it’s going to be a great experience for all involved.  Some of our students will be filling leadership roles in our worship service, and I’m going to take my first crack at preaching in front of the congregation.  (I’ll admit I’m experiencing a certain amount of anxiety about that myself!)

Youth Sunday is a time to recognize the contributions of our youth to the greater life and ministry of the church.  Lots of churches do this from time to time, and I think it can be a very good point of emphasis for our churches.  Most youth ministries exist as a microcosm unto themselves as they offer standalone programs and events for students without engaging the purpose and ministries of the church as a whole.  My feeling is that there needs to be a shared vision of purpose throughout the church if it is to function as the Body that God intends.  So starting this Sunday, I’m hoping to open some avenues for dialogue between our students and the congregation as a whole about how our unique functions can cooperate for the greater good of the church.  I’m rethinking some of the ways that I have done student ministry in the past while examining the ways that our church has done student ministry in the past.  I think it’s time to re-establish our course and press forward into a more wholisitic understanding of ministry to and with our students.  Now I have to figure out how to communicate this from the pulpit.

Teens and Profanity

I thought this was an interesting article about teens and their use of profanity.  It’s not that cursing has become a new trend among teens; however, it does seem that their inhibitions about using profanity have diminished.

(ht to YPulse)

More from the Grab Bag

Sometimes others simply do a better job of saying the things that are on my mind, as is the case with these two posts.  I don’t think it’s any secret that understanding your context is the key to success in any ministry endeavor, but some contexts present more challenges than others.  I’m in a position where I’m evaluating my past experiences in light of my current context, and I’m having to make some adjustments to my approach to student ministry.  These guys are saying some of the things I’m thinking about.

• Duncan’s Small Youth Group Theory
• Joe’s Youth Ministry Rant